Day 3 of NaBloPoMo brings a different voice to the blog. It feels a bit like stream-of -consciousness, and definitely went to places I didn't expect when I first started writing, but it proved very cathartic for me nonetheless. Hopefully, as the reader, you get something out of it, because I know I did.
If you weren't aware, I am the very proud father of 3 children: fraternal twins (boy and girl), who will be 2 near the end of this month, and a nearly 7 week old daughter. This statement alone should clue you in to the fact that, on the best of days, our home is a seething mass of chaos. Toys litter the landscape for as far as the eye can see, Cheerios and Goldfish constantly crunch underfoot, and tantrums are almost as common as Brangelina tabloid headlines. It's a far cry from the life my wife and I once shared, as two professionals living the DINK lifestyle. Ah, the carefree days of being able to get up when you wanted to on weekends, not being afraid to go out for dinner and uninterrupted nights of sleep. And while I wouldn't trade my life now for anything, I'm here to say, without reservation, that it's damn hard.
To put things in perspective, while writing the introductory paragraph, I left the computer no less than 3 times, to comfort my son, who should have been asleep some time ago. It seems that he chose this evening to discover his shadow, created by him jumping in front of his light-up musical aquarium in his crib, and deciding that he really didn't like it. Both my wife and I were up in the twins' room, comforting both the little ones (my son because he was scared and my daughter because she was so worried about her brother), wondering exactly how to convince him that his shadow is nothing to fear. Clearly, the first time didn't work, as she and I alternated trips up to calm our slightly shaking and very upset son a few more times before sleep won the fight and they now both are quiet.
Also, my lovely infant daughter seems to be able to produce more gas than your average elephant, and as you would imagine that makes her rather uncomfortable. This in turn makes us uncomfortable, because a screaming infant that you simply can't console isn't the epitome of a relaxing sound or sensation. Just as a sidebar, I never thought it could be possible that a child that small could clear a room with her noxious emissions, but trust me, it's possible.
I'm running on less than optimal sleep, because our oldest daughter was up 4 times in the night between the hours of 2am and 4:30am. She was in some sort of distress, and for the first time that I can remember, she cried out, "Dada! Mommy!" in the night. Most of the time, she either just moans or screams us awake, so this must have been serious. Some big hugs and tucking in later, she finally settled to allow us at least a bit of uninterrupted slumber.
All of these things have happened in just the past twenty-four hours, so you can only imagine what else has occurred recently. To be honest, I'm not sure exactly why I'm relaying all of this to you, the faceless, nameless reader. Therapy, maybe? There is the possibility that if I just get some of these experiences out of my head that they won't seem that bad. It's just that there are days that feel like they'll never end, and even when they do, there's another one just like it waiting for me with the rising of the sun. I won't lie to you, or me for that matter, and say that it's not discouraging at times. Talking to my wife, I sometimes liken the experience of parenthood to a hamster wheel that you can't get off. No matter how much you desperately want to stop running and just 'be' for a moment, the inexorable march of time and the needs of your children keep you running, running, running...
To go along with all of the responsibilities of being a parent, there's also the struggle with my inner child. You see, this immature little beast really wants to still be able to get up at noon on a Saturday and do whatever he wants. He still wants to go out and buy all the latest and greatest electronics and video games. He still wants to go to as many sporting events as he can secure tickets for. He still wants...well, he still wants to do whatever the hell he wants to do. The cold, hard reality of the situation is far different, though. Now, he is at least partially responsible for the care and well-being of three little lives, lives that would not exist if not for him. The twins are an alarm clock with no snooze button. Being home on weekends is no longer a restful experience. The running joke with my coworkers is that, "Work is where I can go to rest," but it's only partially a joke.
I switched to the third person in the last paragraph, at least in part, to try to separate myself from that aspect of my personality with which I struggle every day. To give in to the selfish wishes of my inner child goes against everything I need to do as a responsible parent. I need to be the best that I can be for them, to provide them with a roof over their heads, food on the table, clothes on their backs, and the opportunities to prosper in the realities of today. Along with the material requirements, I need to be attentive to them, show them the love and care that I received while growing up, so they never have to wonder if their parents love them. These responsibilities conflict with my desires for downtime and 'goofing off,' and there is a daily struggle for the dad I need to be to convince the child I want to be to put down the toys and fulfill the grownup obligations that just won't go away.
Now, if you've read this far, there hasn't been a whole lot of upside or anything to lead you to believe that I enjoy being a father. To the contrary, there are so many moments throughout the course of a day that make me take pause and realize just how blessed I really am. A smile from my infant daughter as I lay her on the changing table and let her kick her feet and wave her arms; my older daughter running into my arms for a "Big hug!"; my son, giggling uncontrollably as I crawl on the floor toward him, threatening him with tickles the whole way; the way they say "Please" and "Thank you" as I hand them their milk cups; the amazing reception I get when I come home from work, consisting of the kids screaming "Dada!" at the top of their lungs and grabbing me around the legs as I walk through the door. These are but a few of the incredible, unforgettable and amazing moments that help me cope with all the harsh realities of being an adult and causing me to stop and think about how lucky I really am, and that I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
New (to me) Game Impressions
Today is day 2 of NaBloPoMo, and I don't want to give up just yet. Seriously, could I even look at myself in the mirror if I couldn't post on my blog for 2 consecutive days? Probably not, so here is the latest effort.
Having spent some money over the past few days on games from Steam during their big holiday sale, it came time to actually install the games on my computer and test drive my purchases. Here are my impressions from the games that were installed at this point in time: Braid, Osmos and Trine.
First, let's talk about Braid. It's the first game installed and played, and the one I spent the least amount of time with. Not because of anything involving the atmosphere, the graphics, the story or the challenge, because all of those aspects were just as advertised by the gaming press. The problem I'm dealing with right now is the PC control scheme, which involves the keyboard. At this point, I don't own a PC gamepad, and, strange as it may sound, this is the straw that might break that camel's back. The best analogy I can come up with to liken my experience of playing Braid with the keyboard is to try to play the first Super Mario Bros. with the keyboard. It's doable, sure, but is it fun? Acknowledging the fact I'm human, I don't want a somewhat artificial struggle with the controls to color the experience with a highly regarded game in a negative light. I'll certainly revisit this one after picking up a decent game pad.
Next, to touch on Osmos. Essentially an atmospheric puzzle game in the vein of fLOw, but with a failure state that fLOw didn't, it possesses a charm and aesthetic that's hard to ignore. The Green Pixels review describes the game better than I ever could. Having only spent a minimal time with it so far (20-25 minutes), I can safely say that I'll be coming back to it, most likely at a time when I could use a breath of fresh air or something to help me relax. Also, since I picked it up during the Steam sale for $1.99, I consider it a fantastic buy.
Finally, Trine. This is the game that piqued my interest the most, mostly after playing through most of the Steam demo earlier in the year, but not buying the game at that time solely as a financial decision (I do have a family to support, as much as the inner child in me may not want to admit). It's easiest to describe this game as a physics-based puzzle-platformer that allows you to freely switch between 3 different characters at will. What's not to love? There's great voice narration and character voices which are used to flesh out the story, and the keyboard and mouse controls work in this instance. I've worked my way through the intro level and the first level so far, which means I have a long way to go. It's not often I say this, considering the constraints on my gaming time, but I can definitely see myself completing this game.
If you read my earlier post talking about what I've bought from the Steam sale so far, you'll notice that these games represent about 30% of what I've purchased, so there's still some work to do to sample all of the new purchases. My impressions on these will follow in the next few weeks, unless some other shiny penny distracts me. I'm similar to a crow in that respect, in that I can't resist the urge to get wrapped up in something new when I have plenty of things (in this case, video games) to keep me occupied already in my possession. Maybe that's another challenge to work on in 2010, to stop being distracted by other things and keep my focu...hey, wait! Is that a new Mass Effect game coming out soon?
Having spent some money over the past few days on games from Steam during their big holiday sale, it came time to actually install the games on my computer and test drive my purchases. Here are my impressions from the games that were installed at this point in time: Braid, Osmos and Trine.
First, let's talk about Braid. It's the first game installed and played, and the one I spent the least amount of time with. Not because of anything involving the atmosphere, the graphics, the story or the challenge, because all of those aspects were just as advertised by the gaming press. The problem I'm dealing with right now is the PC control scheme, which involves the keyboard. At this point, I don't own a PC gamepad, and, strange as it may sound, this is the straw that might break that camel's back. The best analogy I can come up with to liken my experience of playing Braid with the keyboard is to try to play the first Super Mario Bros. with the keyboard. It's doable, sure, but is it fun? Acknowledging the fact I'm human, I don't want a somewhat artificial struggle with the controls to color the experience with a highly regarded game in a negative light. I'll certainly revisit this one after picking up a decent game pad.
Next, to touch on Osmos. Essentially an atmospheric puzzle game in the vein of fLOw, but with a failure state that fLOw didn't, it possesses a charm and aesthetic that's hard to ignore. The Green Pixels review describes the game better than I ever could. Having only spent a minimal time with it so far (20-25 minutes), I can safely say that I'll be coming back to it, most likely at a time when I could use a breath of fresh air or something to help me relax. Also, since I picked it up during the Steam sale for $1.99, I consider it a fantastic buy.
Finally, Trine. This is the game that piqued my interest the most, mostly after playing through most of the Steam demo earlier in the year, but not buying the game at that time solely as a financial decision (I do have a family to support, as much as the inner child in me may not want to admit). It's easiest to describe this game as a physics-based puzzle-platformer that allows you to freely switch between 3 different characters at will. What's not to love? There's great voice narration and character voices which are used to flesh out the story, and the keyboard and mouse controls work in this instance. I've worked my way through the intro level and the first level so far, which means I have a long way to go. It's not often I say this, considering the constraints on my gaming time, but I can definitely see myself completing this game.
If you read my earlier post talking about what I've bought from the Steam sale so far, you'll notice that these games represent about 30% of what I've purchased, so there's still some work to do to sample all of the new purchases. My impressions on these will follow in the next few weeks, unless some other shiny penny distracts me. I'm similar to a crow in that respect, in that I can't resist the urge to get wrapped up in something new when I have plenty of things (in this case, video games) to keep me occupied already in my possession. Maybe that's another challenge to work on in 2010, to stop being distracted by other things and keep my focu...hey, wait! Is that a new Mass Effect game coming out soon?
Friday, January 1, 2010
NaBloPoMo
It had been bouncing around in my head as a personal challenge to try to post every day for the month of January. At some point in the past year, I had read that this is a great way to condition yourself to writing daily, and that by forcing yourself to post, even the most mundane items, would form a habit. By forming this habit, removing one of the obstacles to writing, and hopefully gaining some valuable practice writing in the processthe theory holds that better material will follow.
While I was seriously contemplating this, I was alerted to National Blog Posting Month, or NaBloPoMo, in a post by a blogger who I follow (thanks, Dark Sakura!). Since there's a movement and a group of people dedicated to try to do exactly what I was considering independently, it seems like a sign that I should give it a shot. What you're reading right now is the beginning of this effort.
I know, I know, it's not exactly awe inspiring, is it? What do you expect from an engineer with no formal English, journalism or writing experience? I'm going to do my best to stick with this little exercise and stretch my writing a bit. You'll still be seeing a lot of video game related items here, but there should also be some other topics sprinkled in here and there, just to liven things up. One goal I've set for myself is to improve my vocabulary. Since I'm apparently an (ahem) adult, whether I want to be or not, it only seems wise to expand on the small base of words I know and spruce things up a bit.
That's all for now. It's getting close to the time where I turn into a pumpkin, and the kids are going to be up at 7am, whether I'm ready for them or not. For all of you out there in the same endeavor, best of luck to you, and I hope to join you all successfully at the end of the month!
While I was seriously contemplating this, I was alerted to National Blog Posting Month, or NaBloPoMo, in a post by a blogger who I follow (thanks, Dark Sakura!). Since there's a movement and a group of people dedicated to try to do exactly what I was considering independently, it seems like a sign that I should give it a shot. What you're reading right now is the beginning of this effort.
I know, I know, it's not exactly awe inspiring, is it? What do you expect from an engineer with no formal English, journalism or writing experience? I'm going to do my best to stick with this little exercise and stretch my writing a bit. You'll still be seeing a lot of video game related items here, but there should also be some other topics sprinkled in here and there, just to liven things up. One goal I've set for myself is to improve my vocabulary. Since I'm apparently an (ahem) adult, whether I want to be or not, it only seems wise to expand on the small base of words I know and spruce things up a bit.
That's all for now. It's getting close to the time where I turn into a pumpkin, and the kids are going to be up at 7am, whether I'm ready for them or not. For all of you out there in the same endeavor, best of luck to you, and I hope to join you all successfully at the end of the month!
Happy New Year!
To everyone out there, I wish you all a wonderful New Year. Here's to hoping that you are able to stick to your resolutions and that 2010 treats you better than 2009 (no matter how good or bad last year was, there's always room for improvement).
The one thing I resolve for 2010 is to be the absolute best husband, father, son, brother, employee and friend that I can be. If I can do that, then 2010 will be a success.
Enjoy yourselves tonight, be safe, and see you all in the next year!
The one thing I resolve for 2010 is to be the absolute best husband, father, son, brother, employee and friend that I can be. If I can do that, then 2010 will be a success.
Enjoy yourselves tonight, be safe, and see you all in the next year!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Steam Sale Impulse Buys
Not only is this the holiday season, a time of merriment, gift-giving, time with family and friends, and the opportunity to spend some time away from work (it is all of these things), but it's also the time for the huge Steam sale. Tons of games, old and new, and ridiculously discounted prices. So far, i've picked up:
- Trine
- Lucas Arts Adventure Pack (2 Indiana Jones games, Loom, and The Dig)
- Braid
- Osmos
- Indigo Prophecy
- Oddworld Pack (including Oddyssey and Exodus)
I check back every day to see if anything new pops up that I just can't live without. Hopefully it will end soon, because I shouldn't be buying the games I have (even though I've only spent about $20 total). If nothing else, this should set me up for a while with gaming goodness, not to mention the fact that I've been hesitant to dive into Dragon Age: Origins because I don't have the time to commit to a real playthrough. It's a good time to be a gamer, just not so good for one that doesn't have a lot of time!
- Trine
- Lucas Arts Adventure Pack (2 Indiana Jones games, Loom, and The Dig)
- Braid
- Osmos
- Indigo Prophecy
- Oddworld Pack (including Oddyssey and Exodus)
I check back every day to see if anything new pops up that I just can't live without. Hopefully it will end soon, because I shouldn't be buying the games I have (even though I've only spent about $20 total). If nothing else, this should set me up for a while with gaming goodness, not to mention the fact that I've been hesitant to dive into Dragon Age: Origins because I don't have the time to commit to a real playthrough. It's a good time to be a gamer, just not so good for one that doesn't have a lot of time!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
My Top 5 Games of 2009
Jumping back into the blogging thing, and onto the bandwagon of the innumerable 'best' and 'worst' lists that inevitably appear at this time, I've decided to put together my list of 'Top 5 Games of 2009.' This list is compiled with the understanding that I simply didn't have the time and/or money to really delve into the incredible amount of quality games that appeared on the scene in twenty-aught-nine.
So, without further ado, here are my choices for the 5 best games I played in 2009.
5. Retro Game Challenge (DS) - There's nothing I enjoy more than being reminded of the carefree days of my youth, rabidly consuming all of the NES games I could get my hands on. Retro Game Challenge scratched that itch incredibly well, with 8-bit style games, fused with 2+ of game design evolution. The developer's understanding of what makes a great game coupled with the desire to evoke the 'golden years' of gaming produced a loving trip down memory lane, even though none of these games existed back then.
4. Batman: Arkham Asylum (XBox 360) - I chronicled my journey with this game in some detail in previous entries in this blog. Multiple game mechanics, smooth melee combat, impressive visuals, and doing justice to one of the most maligned franchise licenses in gaming history makes this game worthy of anyone's year-end best list.
3. Shadow Complex (XBox Live Arcade) - This game stirred up a tempest in a teapot when it was released, because of the beliefs of the game's lead writer, but looking beyond this will find you looking at a game that plays like Super Metroid, powered by the Unreal Engine. Need I say more?
2. Plants Vs. Zombies (PC) - I arrived late to this party, but boy am I glad I came. Simple tower defense game mechanics made challenging and interesting, all wrapped in a well-written, genuinely funny and cute shell continues to suck precious time out of my day. The additional puzzles, challenge, and survival modes, combined with the expensive items in the store to save up and buy, give this game some serious legs.
1. Borderlands (PC) - Very good FPS mechanics, Diablo style loot system and a paper-thin story you forget about 5 minutes in? The perfect recipe for my top game of 2009. I sunk 30+ hours into this game, and enjoyed every minute of it. The need to find the perfect gun, and then when you find it, wanting to find the next perfect gun kept me playing for a long time. If Gearbox, the developer, can find a way to include more story into the inevitable sequel, it will be a monster.
Honorable Mention: Fallout 3 DLC (PC) - Another hit of my favorite gaming drug from 2008? Yes please. Wait, 5 more hits? Most definitely! The addition of the 5 DLC packs to Fallout 3 pushed my total game time to over 100 hours in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. I could talk about this game for hours, and regale you with stories of exploration and discovery. That's a good thing, because the original ending (and essentially its removal with the third DLC pack, Broken Steel) makes this a case of 'the sum of the journey is greater than the destination.'
So there you have it, my modest 'best of' list for the past year. 2010 is shaping up to be even leaner than 2009, considering that I now have 3 little ones vying for my attention, but I'll never give up the dream of enough money to pay for my gaming habit and enough time to play the games I want. It doesn't hurt to dream, right?
So, without further ado, here are my choices for the 5 best games I played in 2009.
5. Retro Game Challenge (DS) - There's nothing I enjoy more than being reminded of the carefree days of my youth, rabidly consuming all of the NES games I could get my hands on. Retro Game Challenge scratched that itch incredibly well, with 8-bit style games, fused with 2+ of game design evolution. The developer's understanding of what makes a great game coupled with the desire to evoke the 'golden years' of gaming produced a loving trip down memory lane, even though none of these games existed back then.
4. Batman: Arkham Asylum (XBox 360) - I chronicled my journey with this game in some detail in previous entries in this blog. Multiple game mechanics, smooth melee combat, impressive visuals, and doing justice to one of the most maligned franchise licenses in gaming history makes this game worthy of anyone's year-end best list.
3. Shadow Complex (XBox Live Arcade) - This game stirred up a tempest in a teapot when it was released, because of the beliefs of the game's lead writer, but looking beyond this will find you looking at a game that plays like Super Metroid, powered by the Unreal Engine. Need I say more?
2. Plants Vs. Zombies (PC) - I arrived late to this party, but boy am I glad I came. Simple tower defense game mechanics made challenging and interesting, all wrapped in a well-written, genuinely funny and cute shell continues to suck precious time out of my day. The additional puzzles, challenge, and survival modes, combined with the expensive items in the store to save up and buy, give this game some serious legs.
1. Borderlands (PC) - Very good FPS mechanics, Diablo style loot system and a paper-thin story you forget about 5 minutes in? The perfect recipe for my top game of 2009. I sunk 30+ hours into this game, and enjoyed every minute of it. The need to find the perfect gun, and then when you find it, wanting to find the next perfect gun kept me playing for a long time. If Gearbox, the developer, can find a way to include more story into the inevitable sequel, it will be a monster.
Honorable Mention: Fallout 3 DLC (PC) - Another hit of my favorite gaming drug from 2008? Yes please. Wait, 5 more hits? Most definitely! The addition of the 5 DLC packs to Fallout 3 pushed my total game time to over 100 hours in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. I could talk about this game for hours, and regale you with stories of exploration and discovery. That's a good thing, because the original ending (and essentially its removal with the third DLC pack, Broken Steel) makes this a case of 'the sum of the journey is greater than the destination.'
So there you have it, my modest 'best of' list for the past year. 2010 is shaping up to be even leaner than 2009, considering that I now have 3 little ones vying for my attention, but I'll never give up the dream of enough money to pay for my gaming habit and enough time to play the games I want. It doesn't hurt to dream, right?
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Family +1
It's been some time since I posted here, mostly because of the birth of our third child, Emily Michelle. She's a wonderful, healthy little lady, but she seems to enjoy the nightlife a bit much. Since I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately, and can't seem to get the dull ache behind my eyes to go away, sitting down to write hasn't been a high priority. Soon I'll get back into a more regular (if I ever was regular, ha) posting schedule.
I can say, without hesitation, that Emily is a wonderful addition to the Grant clan, and there is one very proud big sister in the house, willing and eager to help in whatever way she can. Isabelle loves her sister, and is proving to be quite the mommy's little helper. Nick, on the other hand, thinks his new little sister is ok, but is a bit disappointed she doesn't have wheels (his favorite things in the whole world being cars of all kinds).
That's all for now, but I'll be back to my uninteresting babble about games and such soon.
I can say, without hesitation, that Emily is a wonderful addition to the Grant clan, and there is one very proud big sister in the house, willing and eager to help in whatever way she can. Isabelle loves her sister, and is proving to be quite the mommy's little helper. Nick, on the other hand, thinks his new little sister is ok, but is a bit disappointed she doesn't have wheels (his favorite things in the whole world being cars of all kinds).
That's all for now, but I'll be back to my uninteresting babble about games and such soon.
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